Spiff Stuff: Clothing Optional, And PROUD! CONTENTS: 1 - The DemiGod Speaks 2 - Sites Of The Amount Of Time Between issues 3 - The Top Ten Signs It Will Be A Bad School Year 4 - Omniverse News 5 - Any Other Crap I Think Of ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---- "The DemiGod Speaks" by The DemiGod: The Eastbay catalogs are here. and you know what that means, don't ya? That's right! It's school season! Another year of poorly funded facilities, incompetent administrations, and overbearing study requirements from the old folk. That may have nothing to do with my message in this issue, but it's not like I care anyway. Forget school (No matter how dificult that may be!)! Today we have a more pressing matter. Our topic today: The Letter Q: Friend of Foe? I've studied it for years, but no definite answer can be reached. Sure, Q always uses his power to drive the universe crazy, but he does it for our own good! Also, the letter Q is one of the highest valued letters in Scrabble. It's also one of the hardest to use later in the game. I've also heard that Q is a part of the Nuclear launch codes for the US, which could be good OR bad (Depending larger on if they're targetted at Canada or not! :-). Ah, well. It's not like I care. Just read the darn zine, and GET ON WITH IT! It always helps to use Microsoft Internet Mail to read this zine, since it was what I used to write it. Only a commie would be too short-sighted to realize that! Well, anyway, just reply with any contributions, comment, etc. It's not like I'll really pay any attention to your whining, but at least I'll get EMail! WHOOHOO! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----- Places To Go, People To Kill: One of my fav shows is MST3K. Wanna know what that means?!?! You punk! How DARE you not know! Go here, commie: http://www.scifi.com/mst3000/ One of my friends since I first got online is Sara Fawbush. Visit her here: http://members.tripod.com/~FawbushSa/ Liked Final Fantasy? Like to write? http://www.dragonfire.net/~Lagolord/wwwboard/ Finally, go to my fav FREE gaming service! http://www.mplayer.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----- The Top Ten........ Signs It Will Be A Bad School Year: #10 - The First Day Pop Quiz In Calculus #9 - Your Gym Teacher Tells You To "Sound Off Like You've Got A Pair" #8 - The Milk Expired During The Nixon Administration #7 - The fat Girl Winking At You Believes In "Short Shorts" #6 - You Have A Class During 25th Period #5 - Your Drama Teacher Owns EVERY Jerry Lewis Movie #4 - Even The Computer Club Members Have Girlfriends By The Third Day, Yet You've Received Over Thirty Restraining Orders #3 - The Football Team Can't Afford Pads. Uniforms Stuffed With Those Foam Packing Peanuts Instead #2 - Your Class Votes For You As "Most Likely To Choke To Death On His Own Vomit" #1 - On The First Day, Everyone Keeps Asking You If They Added Leisure Suits To The Dress Code Again, Then They Point At You And Burst Into Laughter. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Stuff! Compuserve has been on sale for a week or so. Currently, very few offers have been made: AOL has volunteer to take it over, bludgeon all the executives, and fire everybody, and.... Timmy Noxenstein will trade for his Jordan Rookie card, and his "Kiss Me, I'm Irish!" bumper sticker. After a long history of screwing over employees and customers, every one of the remaining 900 Woolworth stores are closing up. The company blames loses on the managers' "Inability To Convincingly Pay Employees Half Of Minimum Wage......" and their "Incompetence In Overpricing Items, And Ripping Off Old Folks". Also, the refusal of employees to "Steal Candy From Babies" resulted in heavy loses. ----------------------------------------------------------------- I know, I know: This Wasn't A Very Long Issue. The Point Was To Show You All Of It's Potential. It Can't Get Any Better If I Have To Do It Alone! I'm Looking For People To Contribute: Editorials, Reviews, Stories, Articles, And Top Ten Topics. PLUS, Any other humerous things will be appreciated. Send them to xiryc@webbullet.com. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Anthony Bucchioni, The DemiGod xiryc@WebBullet.com bucchioni@geocities.com http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Acropolis/9857 On Mplayer - EoB-WarMech